My first love affairs
I was born on a wednesday morning half an hour before sunrise. When I was a child I loved to play in our little garden. Sitting under my birch tree I listened to the beautiful songs of the blackbirds. I talked to the clouds. And I remember that I got frightened when the mushrooms suddenly grew out of the ground after a warm summer rain. Once I fell from my beloved old apple tree and I cried the whole day long. My parents garden was my little paradise with its joys and fears. Till the age of seven I seldom played with other kids. During the winter days I often painted inside the house. But my father was a critical person. After his comments I tried to learn to paint better to gain his love. Whereas my mother was always happy when I showed her my pictures.
Occasionally on sundays my parents went on a visit to my uncle. He was a catholic priest, a fat but funny man who liked to play with windup toys. In his living room he had an old piano. A german Schiedmayer & Soehne. As I discovered this old black and brillant piece of furniture I was immediately fascinated. And my uncle was fascinated as he heard my little tunes coming out of the black box. So once on a sunday afternoon he made something that seemed nearly impossible: He decided to give me his beloved instrument as a present. Some days later it stood in my room!
That’s the way my first love found me. And I was grateful and happy to share my feelings with my piano. In all the following years it helped me to survive. It comforted me when I was sad or lovesick. It helped me as my father got sick and died on cancer. I was just thirteen. And my piano cared for me as I lost my beloved pets, my dog and my cat. And later on it was here when I realized that my little son cannot be like other children.
My parents did not have a lot of money. So I had to learn to play the piano by myself. I only had two years of education. And I don’t think I am a virtuoso. But I was free to improvise and to discover the tunes and sounds I like. So I always tried to find my music. The music of my heart. The music playing in my head.
